I’ve been back in the US for almost six weeks now trying to readjust to the real world. Each of those six weeks had a distinct goal and, looking back, it seems like it was a good way to get back into the swing of things. Considering that I was in Asia for only three months, a month to get back into things might seem excessive, but when I arrived in the US in February, I was not ready to go back to work and my old life.
When I left for Asia I had a strong need to shake things up in my life. I was bored at work and bored with DC. I had lived in the same house for two years, same metro area for six, and I was too complacent to seek out my own challenges anymore. Although I could have quit my job and moved to a new city, given that I didn’t dislike my company or DC, I opted for the more temporary shake up of a one way ticket to Hong Kong. At first I opted for my usual travel style: walk everywhere, see as much as possible, eat everything. I forgot that I have always employed this style for short, well defined periods of time and then scheduled a day to sleep afterwards. I quickly learned that this frantic mode was not sustainable, and once I hit the heat of Phnom Penh I had no choice but to slow down. I’m trying to incorporate this into my daily life. Instead of jumping back into things, I’m taking a slow approach to coming back, only adding activities back in once I feel the need, ignoring any lingering feelings of obligation.
I have been asked why I decided to come back and pick up where I left off. There’s no easy answer to that but I’ll try to explain a little here. When I was traveling everything was novel. It was exactly what I needed to get me out of the rut I was in back in DC. However, sleeping in a different bed every night, never knowing where I’d be the next day, I eventually came to really crave some stability. The first half of my trip was characterized by movement; a few days in one place at most, then off to the next city, deciding at the bus station where I should go. The second half was characterized by longer stays in one place. About a month in I started feeling a very strong urge to make a mess. Anyone who has ever seen my desk or bedroom knows I am not the image of a neat person; when traveling I kept everything in my backpack out of necessity. One night I was in a small dorm and I was the only person in it that night. I took all my clothes and just spread them all over one of the other beds in the dorm. It seems really stupid looking back on it, but I felt so relieved after tossing my clothes onto that bed.
Coming back, I needed familiarity. I needed to be around people I already knew, transit networks I already knew how to get around. Additionally, while I was gone, I didn’t feel any relief in having left DC. When I left Massachusetts almost seven years ago, I never felt a real longing to go back. I don’t dislike it and I’m happy to visit, but I was satisfied with what I had learned there and never felt like I had unfinished business. In DC, I still felt I could come back and be happy. Going back would be easy; I already knew where I wanted to live, I still had my job, and I had hobbies that I could hop right back into. While I don’t generally advocate for doing something because it is easy and familiar, in this case I believe that it was exactly what I needed at the time I made my decision. I feel confident that if I get sick of DC again I will leave; at that point I will be looking for a new adventure and relocating would fit the bill. At this point, I just want to be in a place with people around whom I feel comfortable enough to make a mess.
